


Some Things You Don't Get Over

by GalahadWilder



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, F/M, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2018-12-09 10:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11666964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalahadWilder/pseuds/GalahadWilder
Summary: Adrien gets between Ladybug and a rage Akuma, and completely loses control. Suddenly Ladybug knows his secret, and that he has a few more things tucked away in his past. Chat needs help, and there's no one else who can do it.





	1. Chapter 1

More than anything, Adrien Agreste wanted Ladybug not to show up at his house that night. But he knew she would. He knew she’d be there. And he wasn’t ready for it.

He sat on his bed, idly playing with his phone, wondering. She’d said she knew him, after. She’d said his name like a prayer, like the way he thought hers to himself when there was nobody to see but Plagg. Did he know her? What was she to him, outside of the mask?

“Are you gonna stop playing with that thing?” Plagg groaned. “Come on, you know she’s coming soon, you’ve wanted this forever! Have a little fun! Take off your shirt or something!”

Adrien just sighed. “I’m not… I’m not ready, Plagg. Not after today.”

He jumped at the knock on the window. He and Plagg both turned to see Ladybug hanging from her yo-yo from the roof. She smiled and waved.  
Adrien sighed and waved Plagg away. “Can you… give us some privacy, please?”

Plagg stared at him.

Adrien stared back, then sighed again. “There’s some Camembert in the mini-fridge,” he said.

Plagg shrieked with delight and dove THROUGH the door of the fridge, leaving Adrien to climb up to the window and let Ladybug into his room.

“Hey,” he said, sheepishly. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” she said, slipping past him into the room. “I’m worried about you, honestly."

“What for?” He climbed down from his desk and sat down on his bed. “I honestly don’t remember any of what happened today, you know? The Akuma hit me and then,” he held up his open palm to the side of his face, “ _bzzt_.”

Ladybug twisted the string of her yo-yo between her hands. “I know you’re lying, Adrien,” she said. “I think I know you better than anyone else at this point.”

Adrien’s face dropped. “I’m sorry, My Lady,” he croaked. “I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

She stepped toward him and ran a hand through his hair, and he let himself fall into it, a whine escaping his lips. “Oh, Kitty,” she said, her voice soft and kind, “you don’t have to apologize to me. I’m just… is everything all right? Are you all right?”

“I’m okay.”

“Adrien, you threw your father off a BUILDING.” She sat down next to him, and he was suddenly very aware of her closeness, of the scent of yeast and cinnamon wafting off her, of the thinness of the material that covered her skin. “I think you have something you need to talk about.”

It hadn’t been the first time Ladybug had needed to fight without her partner. He’d been tagged by Akuma before, turned against her or incapacitated because he’d sacrificed himself to keep her safe. Today, though, it hadn’t been Chat Noir who’d jumped in front of the blast from the rage Akuma, but Adrien Agreste. He’d protected her like he’d always done, and then he’d turned on everyone.

Adrien, it turned out, had so much repressed rage that it had actually scared the Akuma. Most of the fight had come down to Ladybug trying to keep Adrien corralled, with barely any chances to get close enough to the Akuma to steal the enchanted item. Once Adrien shoved his father from the roof of the Bourgeois Hotel, she’d given up and used her Lucky Charm - a jump rope - to tie him to a stairwell, going away to take on the Akuma alone.

And that’s when he’d told her. That’s when he’d told her everything.

Ladybug reached for Adrien’s hand, but he pulled it away. He’d let her down. He was supposed to be her knight; instead, he’d become the worst enemy she’d ever had to fight, because she’d had to look him in the eyes. Look him in the eyes while he’d screamed insults at her, spilled every one of his darkest secrets and frustrations, and keep on going, keep on fighting.

Adrien laughed, but it was a cracked, empty kind of laugh. “I didn’t mean any of it, you know,” he said. “I don’t blame you for anything. For any of it.”

“Adrien…” Ladybug said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “We both know that’s not true.” Her voice cracked as she spoke.

Adrien squeezed his eyes shut. “I love you so much,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry I did this to you.”

“I…” Ladybug halted. “I think I love you too.”

Adrien opened his eyes and stared at her, incredulous. After everything he’d done to her, everything he’d said?

She squeezed his shoulder. “We can’t… we can’t do anything with it. Not yet.” She looked him in the eyes, her own shimmering with tears and maybe, just maybe, hope. “You know why, don’t you?”

“Yeah.” He looked down at his feet. “Your identity.”

“Not just that.” She ran her hand through his hair again, up the back of his head. “I don’t think we’re ready for it. I think… I think we have some things we need to talk about first.”

When he looked at her, she was smiling. At him. She wasn’t leaving, wasn’t leaving him, didn’t hate him, didn’t blame him, and she was staying.

He cleared his throat. “I think…” he started, then swallowed. “There’s no one I’d rather talk to about those things than you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t quite want to write this chapter, but it needed to be told before I moved on to the next part. So, apologies if it’s not quite as good or as clear as I would have hoped; either way, point is, Marinette is not taking things nearly as well as we thought.

Marinette had been sobbing into her pillow for fifteen minutes before Tikki finally hugged her cheek. “It’s all right, Marinette!” she said. “You’re okay, you saved everyone, and Adrien LIKES you!"

Marinette turned over. “He resents me, Tikki,” she said, wiping tears from her eyes. “And after everything he said today, I don’t know if we can… go back to what we were.” She swallowed. “I don’t know if I can help him."

“Oh, I’m sure you can, Marinette-”

“It’s worse than that,” Marinette whispered. “I’m not…” she hiccuped. “I’m not sure I can trust him…”

Tikki gave an inquisitive somersault. “Why? Because he didn’t tell you he was Chat Noir?”

Marinette shook her head. “No… because there’s something he’s still not telling me.” She looked up at Tikki. “I know him now, I know him better than anyone else. And in all the time I’ve known him… I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile.”

Tikki floated up to Marinette’s wall of Adrien pictures. “Um?” she said, pointing at the model photographs.

Marinette shook her head. “It’s not a real smile. Not in any of those. That’s… a photographer’s interpretation of what he should look like.”

“What about Chat Noir?” Tikki asked. “He smiles all the time.”

“That’s… he’s hiding something. Today proved that. And you remember Jackady? He was so serious, then. When his father was threatened.”

“What did he even say to you?” Tikki asked, settling down on Marinette’s desk. “Today. During the Akuma attack.”

Marinette shook her head and threw herself down onto her bed. “I don’t think I can talk about it. Not right now.”

Tikki nestled herself in Marinette’s hair. “Oh, Marinette. It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”

“I don’t know what to do, Tikki,” Marinette sobbed. “I want to tell him who I am, but-”

“That’s not a good idea, Marinette,” Tikki said.  
“I know.” She sighed. “I know. I just… I wish I could.”

She stared into her pillow for a few minutes before speaking again. “Do you think Chat hates me?”

Tikki stroked her hair. “No, Marinette. I don’t think he does.”

Marinette smiled. It was all she had the energy for.

She fell asleep in her clothes, with Tikki nestled in her hair.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien and Ladybug have a talk. Warning: this chapter mentions suicide.

"I think we should talk about the things you said," Ladybug said. "You know, when you were..." she spun her hand.

They were sharing a picnic in their favorite spot midway up the Eiffel Tower. Adrien had been a bit surprised when she'd asked him to join her on an unscheduled patrol, and even more so when he discovered that she'd brought a basket full of food from his favorite bakery. Marinette's family bakery, actually. He was very glad she hadn't seen him during the Akuma attack--she was already scared enough of him, and he didn't want to know what he might have said around her if she'd been there.

He buried his face in croissants for a moment while he let his brain catch up to what Ladybug had said. He'd always suspected that his teeth sharpened during his transformation, and was a little disappointed to realize that no, they did not.

"Chaton?" she said, looking at him expectantly. "Are you... okay with that?"

He wiped the crumbs from his mouth, leaned back, and sighed. "I don't think so," he said. "But... that doesn't mean we shouldn't anyway."

She leaned forward and laid a hand on his shoulder. "It's all right if you don't want to," she said, gazing into his eyes. "You can give it as much time as you need."

He swallowed. "I don't think I could as Adrien. But... the mask helps."

"Okay." Ladybug sat back against one of the struts of the tower's support structure, dangling one leg off into empty air. "Where would you like to start?"

Chat clenched his hand into a fist, then pulled his leg into his chest. "I don't think it's about where I'd LIKE to start," he said. "It's about where I need to. And I think I need to... get around to some things."

"Okay," Ladybug replied, softly.

Chat took a breath to steady himself. "About a year and a half ago, my mother..." His voice cracked. "M-my mother... swallowed a... a whole bottle of pills."

He closed his eyes, squeezing out the tears that had gathered around his eyelids. "She never woke up."

He heard Ladybug gasp.

"She didn't--didn't leave a note, or a-anything. J-j-just... one day, she was fine, and then--and then..."

His breath caught, and a sob escaped his throat. Ladybug laid her hand his shoulder, and he wrapped his fingers around hers. "Oh, Mon Chaton," she murmured, wiping the tears from his face. "I'm so sorry."

"I didn't... I don't understand," he said. "We were HAPPY. We were a f-f-FAMILY. And she... and she..."

"Shhhh, shh shh shh," Ladybug said, stroking his face. "It's okay, Adrien. It's all right."

He collapsed into her shoulder and bawled as she stroked his hair.

After a moment, he caught his breath again and pulled himself out of her shoulder. "Dad got... Father got worse after that," he said. "Cold. Austere. Distant." He sniffled. "He's barely been in the house ever since. His assistant suggested I attend public school to get away from... from everything, and he agreed. But... he's worried about me. He tries to protect me, and I know he's trying to help, but..." He licked his lips. "Sometimes I think he's just trying to keep my locked up so he doesn't have to deal with me."

Ladybug entwined her fingers with his, but said nothing.

"It's... hard, not to hate him, sometimes," Chat continued. "Not to blame him. We don't know why she did it, and something in me keeps saying it was him."

"And something else says it was you?" Ladybug added, her voice soft.

Chat closed his eyes and nodded.

Ladybug grabbed his arm by the bicep. "Listen to me, Adrien," she said. "You are the best, bravest, KINDEST person I have ever known. There was nothing you did that drove your mother to do what she did."

He opened his mouth to speak, but she shushed him with a single gloved finger to the lips. "What your mother did was her own choice," she said. "Her own fault. She hurt you, and she CHOSE to hurt you. You--AND your father--had nothing to do with that choice."

He stared at the ground, some tens of feet down below them.

"You don't believe me, do you," she said.

"Not yet," he responded. "But... it helps. To hear it from someone else."

They finished the rest of Ladybug's picnic in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited the chapter to change the way Adrien's mother committed suicide, since he original method was a bit over-the-top. This seems a bit more rational, and I feel like it makes more sense in the context of the story.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things can't be unsaid. Adrien blames himself, but gets an unlikely defender.

Marinette had grown used to pretending like she wasn't staring at Adrien Agreste. She'd never been good at it, but during the fourteen months since the night with the umbrella, she'd had a great deal of practice with watching him without watching him--keeping her eyes JUST off him. But today was different, because today... today she knew he was Chat Noir. Today she knew he was in love with her. Today she knew he was hurting. Today she couldn't quite keep her eyes off him.

It was taking all she had not to run up to him and kiss him until neither of them could breathe.

He walked into class with bags under his eyes, his shoulders slumped. His usual impeccable fashion was _almost_ evident, but that "almost" was, on Adrien, a particularly powerful one. His shirt was buttoned just slightly wrong, his belt done up on the wrong hole, his sleeves messily rolled up to different lengths. On anyone else, that would simply be a sign of a bad morning. Even a few days prior, Marinette would've brushed it off as exhaustion or forgetfulness. Now, she knew how much he was hiding, how much his perfect image hid the broken boy beneath. If his mask was breaking badly enough to show through in even the tiniest of ways, then he was in a lot more pain than she had imagined.

The entire class went silent as he entered. All the noise, all the the chatter, all the gossip, just... stopped. And everyone was staring at Adrien.

He'd screamed at quite a few of them, after all. The ones he was closest to. The rage Akuma had done a number on him, and probably a lot of damage to his personal relationships. He slowly took his seat next to Nino, who simply patted his friend on the shoulder. Nino was one of the few people Adrien had had nothing bad to say about, after all--Adrien had only been angry on his behalf, thanked him for planning the only birthday party he'd ever had. That moment had precipitated Adrien's chase after his father, and his throwing him off of the building.

Marinette barely stopped herself from reaching out to touch him. To reassure him that she was there. After all, he was her knight; he gave her his life, over and over again, and if all she could do to repay him was to let him know she was there for him--no. She couldn't. Not here. Not now.

"Oh, look who's back!" Lila sneered from her spot in the back of the room. "I'm surprised you're willing to show your face after what you said."

Adrien said nothing, slumping further into his desk.

"You seriously expect us to forgive you?" she said. "Golden Boy Agreste thinks he can just WALTZ back into our lives like nothing happened--"

"Can you SHUT UP?" Chloé shouted, slamming her hand on her desk.

Lila smirked. "Oh, you're standing up for him?" she said. "After all the things he called you? All the things he said about you?"

Chloé stalked up the stairs toward Lila and slapped her in the face.

" _Oh my God,_ " Alix breathed, covering her mouth with her hands.

"You know what Adrien said about me?" Chloé hissed. "He said I was a heinous bitch. He said I was rude, and spoiled, and awful to everyone he cares about. And you know what?" She leaned in, face-to-face with Lila. "He was _right_. And I may be a heinous bitch, but I'm _his_  heinous bitch."

Lila stared at her, horrified.

Chloé smiled, but Marinette could see a tear leaking down her face. "My oldest friend hates me," she said. "But you know what? I'll be _damned_  if I let you hurt him for it."

Nobody said anything about Adrien for the rest of class, but everyone kept watching--closely enough to notice how he avoided looking at Chloé the whole time.

***

Marinette flagged down Chloé after class, pulling her aside into the girls' restroom.

"What do you want?" Chloé sighed, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "You gonna get mad at me for stepping on your man?"

"I..." Marinette clasped her hands in front of her. "I wanted to thank you. For standing up for Adrien?"

Chloé tilted her head in confusion.

Marinette cast her eyes toward the floor. "It was... really brave of you. I wish I could've..."

Chloé shrugged. "Wasn't much. You would've if you'd had a few more seconds. I just did it first."

"Yeah, but... you defended him after everything he said..."

Chloé turned around and leaned against the sink, staring at herself in the mirror. "He doesn't deserve the hate. I do. Simple."

Marinette reached to put her hand on Chloé's shoulder, but Chloé smacked it away. "I don't need your sympathy, Dupain-Cheng," she snapped. "Leave me alone."

Marinette looked at her for a moment, licking her lips, trying to figure out what to say. "I'm... sorry," she said.

"Get out of my sight," was all Chloé said in return.

***

Marinette found Adrien hiding in the boys' locker room. He was curled up in the corner, hugging his legs to his chest and was sobbing into his knees. She hesitated for a moment--this was _Adrien_ , how could she get close to him without freaking out?--but she banished that thought with a shake of her head. This was Chat, too. And he needed her.

She sat down next to him, trying to think of what to say, but nothing came to mind.

Adrien heaved a wet, ragged breath. "I'm a terrible person," he whispered.

"What?" Marinette said. "Why do you say that?"

"I've been feeling all these... things," Adrien said, gesturing. "Terrible things. Angry things. I've been... trying to hide it, but--"

"Stop." Marinette gripped his forearm. "Everyone gets angry."

"Not everyone screams at all of their friends and tries to throw their father off a building."

"That was the Akuma," Marinette said, squeezing. "That wasn't you."

Adrien met her eyes. "I meant everything I said, Marinette. That's the worst part."

Marinette suddenly could see Adrien's face as it was a few days ago--red and tight, veins straining through his skin, screaming through gritted teeth. _"You and your FUCKING secret mission!" he'd shrieked. "I didn't mind guarding Marinette by myself, but you going off on your own and NOT TELLING ME?" He stared at her. At Ladybug. "Every time you say I'm not your sidekick, that I'm your partner, all I can think about is that moment," he growled. "That moment when you treated my like a child. Like you didn't trust me. Like I was your goddamn sidekick."_

"I know you did," she said, rubbing his shoulders. "But that... that isn't so bad. You... you bottle up so much, Adrien. It's not really... healthy. And maybe you needed this."

He wiped his eyes. "And what does it make me that I had to get hit by an Akuma before I could own up to this?"

"Are you kidding me?" Marinette said, leaning forward to look him in the eyes. "The only person so far who HASN'T benefitted from being Akumatized and then cured was Lila. Everyone else, it's helped them come to terms with some of the nastier parts of themselves."

Adrien blinked. "What?"

"Everyone has those parts, Adrien. The bad emotions. The dark parts."

"Even you?"

Marinette thought back to all of the times she'd lied to her friends, all the things she'd stolen, all the times she'd treated Chat like he wasn't her equal--even if she said otherwise. "Yeah," she said. "Even me."

Adrien wiped his nose. "You're a good friend, Marinette," he said. "I'm sorry it took... _this_... for us to get to know each other a little better."

Marinette smiled. "Yeah," she said. "Me too. But... I'm glad we can."

***

Outside the window, a purple butterfly turned white, and fluttered off into the Paris afternoon.


	5. Chapter 5

Marinette Dupain-Cheng had become used to living her life in the exceptional. Sure, she hadn’t had much self-confidence before she’d become Ladybug, but ever since then, she’d spent her days fistfighting monstrosities the size of an American skyscraper, while simultaneously acting as Class President, winning sewing contests, helping her parents in the bakery, interpreting the jovial but capricious whims of Jagged Stone, and stalking a particular blond-haired model. She lived at 100% or not at all, and she had come to expect that any problem could be surmounted with enough effort, diligence, and mental fortitude.

The last few days had pushed that belief to the limit. She was exhausted in a way that she never had been before, even on her worst days. She couldn’t keep herself together while trying to fix Adrien all by herself. She was, she hated to admit, out of her depth.

Which was why Ladybug found herself on the top floor of the Hotel Bourgeois, on Chloé’s balcony, debating whether or not she should knock on her door. _How did it come to this?_ she thought. She was no stranger to needing help—that was why she had Chat, after all—but the thought of asking Chloé for help was... _galling_.

She raised her fist, contemplated knocking, dropped it back down. Was she really doing this?

“Ladybug?”

Ladybug sighed. _I guess I am_.

Chloé threw the door open and stood aside. “Come in, come in!” she said, gesturing at her palatial room. She was wearing a white robe with the Bourgeois honeycomb embroidered in gold on the breast, her hair down and her makeup half-scrubbed-off. “Sorry, I look like a mess right now.” She raised her fingers to her mouth and bit her nails. “There isn’t another Akuma coming after me, is there?”

“Not... I don’t think so,” Ladybug said. “I... um...”

They stared at each other for a moment. Ladybug could feel the awkwardness of the moment in her shoulder blades, the tension ratcheting them closer together as she realized that she had no idea what to say, and that Chloé didn’t seem to be able to continue the conversation either.

Chloé broke eye contact first, glancing down at Ladybug’s feet, breaking the spell. “You’re letting the warm air out,” she said. “Get inside already.”

Ladybug heaved a grateful breath as she stepped into Chloé’s room, and the door shut behind her.

“So... what is this about then?” Chloé said. “Here to spend time with your number one fan?”

”I... uh...” Ladybug struggled to find a response.

Chloé cut her off. “It’s okay,” she said, her face falling. “You don’t have to pretend. I know you don’t like me.”

”That’s... that’s not true!” Ladybug stammered. “I, uh, I just, you know—”

“You don’t need to lie to me,” Chloé said, sitting down on her couch and hugging her knees to her chest. “There’s nobody here but us.”

Ladybug sighed. “I’m... sorry, Chloé.”

Chloé waved her hand dismissively, still staring at the couch cushions. “If someone like you doesn’t like me, there’s no way I don’t deserve it, right?” She sighed. “Why are you here, Ladybug?”

”I... well, I don’t know about deserve,” Ladybug said. “I can be... sort of rash. With my judgments.” She smiled. “You’re not exactly the person I thought you were.”

”Oh?” Chloé spat. “And who was that, exactly?” She snarled, her mouth twisting. “Let me guess. A heinous bitch.”

Ladybug stared at the ground. “What he said... really got to you, huh.”

”I figured as long as he still believed in me, I was okay,” Chloé said. “He was my only friend, you know. For a long time.” She stared at the couch and sighed. “I think the only reason I haven’t been Akumatized again is that my emotions are just too... tangled.” She squeezed her eyes shut, a single tear escaping from between her lashes. “You can’t not love your brother, you know?”

Ladybug cleared her throat. “I wouldn’t know,” she said. “I’m an only child.”

”Yeah, me too,” Chloé said. “We were practically raised together, you know?”

”Yeah, I get that.” Ladybug sat down next to her. “For what it’s worth... I am sorry. About how I’ve treated you.”

”Of course you are,” Chloé said, almost sad. “You’re _you_.” She sighed. “Why did I...” She shook her head. “Never mind. If you’re not here for me, why ARE you here?”

Ladybug coughed. “Well, actually... it IS about Adrien.”

Chloé unfolded, turning to look Ladybug right in the eye. “What do you need?” she said, her voice calm and sure.

”I need to help him,” Ladybug replied. “But I don’t know how.”

Chloé shook her head. “If I knew how to help him, I’d have done it myself.” She gritted her teeth. “Believe me, I’m the last person whose advice you want.”

”You know him best...”

”I don’t know him at all anymore,” Chloé snapped. “He’s too busy being loved by everyone else.” She glared at Ladybug. “He loves you, you know.”

Ladybug swallowed and stared at the ground. “I know,” she whispered.

Chloé pursed her lips and grimaced. “You... you can’t honestly like him back, can you?”

Ladybug said nothing.

”Get out.”

Ladybug’s head snapped up. “What?”

”You heard me. Get out.”

”Chloé, I’m sorry, but I—”

“GET OUT!” Chloé screamed, ripping the cushions from her couch and flinging them at Ladybug. She chased the spotted heroine to the balcony, and Ladybug leaped across the street to perch on the opposite wall.

”I hope he’s worth it, you heartbreaking bitch,” Chloé said, with tears in her voice. Then she slammed the balcony doors.

Ladybug waited, trembling. Chloé’s reaction to her appearance tonight had been unexpected at every level. She hadn’t expected to be welcomed; she hadn’t expected Chloé to be so introspective, and she certainly hadn’t expected her reaction at the end of their conversation.

The old Marinette would have run. And, even now, she wanted to. Wanted to run home, to disappear, to bury herself in her bed and forget about the world—but this Marinette had leaped headfirst into a Tyrannosaur’s mouth. This Marinette wasn’t done yet. Tonight, there was one last thing she had to do.

Five minutes later, the purple butterfly arrived. It didn’t even come close to its destination before a red yo-yo snapped it out of the air. Thirty seconds later, a white butterfly fluttered away.

Ladybug turned around and headed home.


	6. Chapter 6

"I don't deserve my friends," Adrien said, without preamble.

"No offense, _Chaton_ , but... bullshit," Ladybug said. She was sitting on the edge of his bed, leaning back and kicking her legs. "We stick with you for a reason, you know."

He shook his head, staring at the computer screen. "I don't deserve you either."

" _Sacre Bleu_ , Adrien, are you watching that video _again_?" Ladybug sat forward. "You can't keep dwelling on this. It's not healthy."

"Yeah, well, maybe it's not that easy to let go of," Adrien said. "It's not like I can just forget, you know?"

“Well, of course not?” Ladybug said. “But there’s a difference between remembering and _dwelling_.”

”That’s...” Adrien scratched the back of his neck, a gesture Ladybug had come to realize meant he was nervous. “That’s not the only thing I’m dwelling on right now. That Akuma... you beat it without me.”

Ladybug groaned. “Oh, _dieu_ , not this again.”

Adrien spun in his chair, jabbing his finger toward her. “See? That! Right there!”

Ladybug stared. “What?”

”You said ‘again.’ Because we keep having this discussion.” Adrien sighed. “You beat Dark Cupid without me, and Puppeteer. And then there was Jackady, and Riposte, and Gorizilla... I couldn’t transform, and you were fine without me.”

Ladybug put a finger to her chin. “As I recall, I still needed help from one Adrien Agreste for those—”

”Except that you’ve had to fight AGAINST me, what, three times now? Four?” He sighed. “Face it, Buginette. I’m a liability.”

Her eyes widened. “Is that... really what you see, when you look at yourself?”

Adrien grimaced, turning back to his computer and gesturing towards the screen. “What else could I see?” he said. “What else am I?”

She stood, stalking forward, slammed her hands into his shoulders. Her eyes burned through his, blue like fire that raced through his veins. “Every time I’ve had to fight you was because you protected me from something I didn’t see,” she said. “I have _seen you die_ protecting me more times than I can count, and you do it without hesitation.” He tried to look away, but she grabbed his face between her hands. “If not for you, I would be dead. And Paris would be burning. There IS no Ladybug without Chat Noir.” She let go and stepped back. “Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?”

Adrien stared. There was nothing he could say—he’d never realized. Words wouldn’t come, stuck in his throat like a bad bit of apple. Instead, he swallowed. And nodded.

”I see loyalty,” she said. “I see selflessness. I see so much courage. I see a boy who spends half his time making sure Akuma victims don’t feel responsible for what they did after the fight. I see a boy who had every opportunity to take his pain out on the world around him, or let fame and status go to his head... and instead, he is kind, and gentle, and careful, and watches every movement because he’s afraid that if he doesn’t, someone else will break.” She collapsed onto his bed with a sigh. “Did I ever tell you I almost gave up the earrings?”

”What? When?”

She leaned backward onto her hands. “Stoneheart, once he got re-akumatized. I didn’t think I was worthy of them.”

”Of course you—!”

”Wait!” She held up a finger. “Let me finish.”

Adrien nodded.

”So, I put them back on because a friend of mine was in trouble, but I still thought that I should give them to someone else once the danger had passed. And then...” She trailed off, staring at her hand.

”And then you saved everyone,” Adrien prompted.

Ladybug shook her head. “No,” she said, smiling. “Then _you_ saved _me_.” She scooted forward on the bed, stretching out to flick him on the nose. “You believed in me, even though I’d been asked to do the impossible, and even though I’d never been any good at anything. You had faith in me. And that was enough.” She leaned back and sighed. “You are far more than just my partner, Chat Noir,” she said. “You’re the reason Ladybug exists.”

Adrien didn’t know what to say. “...I can’t imagine you being bad at anything,” he mumbled.

She giggled. “You didn’t know me before I was Ladybug,” she said. “I was a nervous wreck, like, all the time. You changed my life, you know. Inside the mask and out of it.”

And, suddenly, there it was. Adrien had spent hours on the Ladyblog over the last few months, and he’d come to recognize the look of absolute adoration that he wore whenever he looked at His Lady. And there, right in front of him, was that same look, on her face, directed at him.

He felt his face warm, spreading all the way to his toes. But it felt wrong—something in him still doubted he deserved that adoration. “I’ve made so many mistakes...”

Ladybug smirked. “I asked you to throw yourself off a building because I thought Chat Noir would catch you,” she said. “You’re hardly alone in the mistakes department.” She reached up to ruffle his hair. “I don’t need you to be perfect, Adrien. I want you to be you.”

And that was as much as Adrien could take. He surged forward and kissed her.

After a moment, he could feel her smile and wrap her arms around his shoulders, pulling him down onto the bed and kissing him back just as hard.


End file.
